It’s January 3rd — have you made your resolutions, yet? Fear not, neither have I. It’s not that I don’t believe in setting goals. I do, emphatically. But, I’m not a big fan of traditional resolutions. So, here are a few suggestions for getting the year off to a good start using a different approach …

Before you look ahead, look back and ask yourself a few questions:

What is your own personal definition of success?

• Now, with that definition in mind (and canceling out the definitions of your spouse/partner, parents, boss, colleagues, friends and others), what were your greatest successes of the past year?
• What did you learn from what you achieved and what are you going to do about it? (How will you use this knowledge moving forward?)

What were your greatest challenges?

• What did you learn by confronting those challenges, or not confronting them, and what are you going to do about it?

Take some time to reflect on the broad spectrum of experiences from the past year. What can you take away from your peaks and valleys and the everyday rhythm of life that will have a positive impact on how you live your life tomorrow?

Now, looking ahead to tomorrow and beyond …

What do you want your life to look like a year (or five or ten years) from now (your ideal scenario; dare to dream!)?

• Where are you?
• What are you doing?
• Who is there with you?
• What are you most excited about?
• What was your greatest achievement?
• What was your greatest challenge and how did you handle it?

(Pay close attention to how you feel as you create this scenario and where you feel it in your body)

Flash back to today … Now that you have a better sense of what your future looks like …

• Is the path that you’re currently on going to get you there?
• If not, how do you need to be different in order to get there (more confident, resilient, aggressive, assertive, laid back, willing to ask for help/support, accepting of help/support, etc.)?
• What do you need more of in your life in order to achieve your goals and how will you ensure that you get it?
• What do you need less of in your life in order to get there and what changes will you make to ensure your success?

At the end of all of this, you won’t have a bulleted list, and you shouldn’t. The goal is to take the time to be with and learn from past experiences and envision what you want for the future. This enables you to create your intentions for the coming year from a more empowered place based on increased awareness, clarity and knowledge. The focus is less on the circumstances and logistics and more on how it feels — in your body and soul. Pay attention to your energy and use it create the goals that will set you on the path to where you want to be tomorrow, next year and five years down the line.

How do you set resolutions, goals, and intentions for the upcoming year? What helps to keep you on track?

As 2008 draws to a close, I thought it might be fun, and inspiring, to publicly celebrate successes from the past year. To be clear, the definition of success is completely your own… it’s whatever you’re feeling proud of or inspired about… as measured by your own definition of success and no one else’s.

It could be anything from committing to explore business ownership to launching a new business or landing a new job. It could be that you started a new blog, developed new relationships, found the ideal childcare arrangement, developed a meal planning strategy, outsourced tasks that were draining your time, got pregnant, gave birth or otherwise expanded your family, sent your oldest off to kindergarten or college, rekindled romance, etc. You get the idea …

Some of the things I’m celebrating right now (in no particular order):

• Set up a new dedicated work space away from the flow of family activities.
• Purchased tools to help me work more effectively, including a wireless printer/scanner/copier/fax and a wireless  hard drive for automatic system backups (yes – I learned this lesson the hard way; going wireless has taken me out of the equation, so backups now actually happen).
• Formed a Steering Committee for The Enterprising  Moms, which will play a key roll in the evolution of our community.
• Was mentioned in the Washington Post and Washington Post Small Business Blog and appeared on NBC4 News twice this year (NBC4 connection came through a fellow Enterprising Mom!).
• Launched a new blog, Eco-Active Family, about my  family’s quest to have a more positive planetary impact
• Got myself and my family more involved in volunteer and charitable giving activities. Finally donated all of my baby  gear to families in need.
• Developed many new personal and professional relationships that have contributed to my own growth as a mom, business woman and human being.

So, what are you celebrating???

Since this community is about support, collaboration, and celebration, please take a moment to share and perhaps inspire another!

A segment last week on NPR’s Tell Me More, with Michel Martin, explored a recent report (2008 A Change of Pace) by Women’s Way that reveals that the gender gap in pay still persists and, with the added dimension of race, the gap is even further illustrated. The discussion includes an exploration of why these gaps exist (career choice, discrimation, impact of primary caregiver roles, etc.). Listen in on the discussion and access the full report from Philadelphia based Women’s Way.

A few months ago, my husband and I had a shift in our finances — an unexpected decrease in expenses, which led to an increase in funds available. There were lots of potential places into which the newly found funds could be directed. But, for me, the choice was crystal clear — we absolutely had to get a house cleaning service.

I must first confess that until just a couple of years ago, I’d never ‘believed’ in hiring anyone to clean our house. (There were certain kinds of people who had cleaning services — extremely busy people out doing urgently important things or people with money dripping from their fingertips; not regular everyday people, or so I thought).

My husband didn’t believe in the concept either. In fact, he was pretty confident in our ability to do it ourselves. He felt like we should be able to make it work — a concept I’d put to rest long ago. Eventually, he came around and we both accepted that it wasn’t about ability or even our desire to do it (or not) — it was about time. While we generally kept the house tidy, finding the time to really clean it was a growing challenge. We simply didn’t have the time, as many working families can attest.

We’re a family with two working parents and three kids all under the age of six living in a modest house. More and more, household chores were eating away at time that could be spent with our children and doing other, far more enriching things.

At the same time, the ‘outsource the house’ movement was taking hold. Families from all walks of life were taking back their time by outsourcing many of the chores that were eating up family time — everything from housecleaning to laundry to lawn care. It was all starting to make sense. It took a while to get here, but now, I think I’d sooner give up chocolate than the house cleaning service.

What we pay out to have the house cleaned every two weeks, we gain in:

• reduced stress about what cleaning needs to be done and when
• less mental energy spent trying to figure out how to get it all done
• more time spent on things we want to do
• that hour or two where everything is just so, until …

So, when you think about work/life balance, time management, and such, what’s one thing that, if outsourced, would have a positive impact on your quality of life?

And, if you’re already outsourcing, what have you outsourced in your house and what has been the pay-off?

One day while cruising through Target for this or that, my girls, Peeba and JoJo, were particularly ripe with requests. I was on a mission, very focused on getting what I came for and nothing more. So, when the girls would make a pitch for something they wanted, I would say, “Okay, I’ll put it in my mental notebook.” “What’s that?” they questioned. I explained that it’s the place where I store information that I want to remember, but don’t need or can’t use at that moment. They loved the idea of a notebook that lives in your head where all of that important stuff, like which book or toy they want during this shopping trip, gets put.

On the next trip to a store containing childhood delights, I was thoroughly confused when Peeba asked me to put something “in that mental place.” At first, I had no idea what she was talking about, but she helped me understand that she was talking about my mental notebook. Over the past several months, she’s begun to connect more dots and has asked, “what happens to the stuff that goes into the mental notebook and when does it come out?”

I share this story because we’ve all got our mental notebooks. They hold things like the reminder to get gas on the way to work, to pick up milk on the way home, return a phone call, schedule a meeting, request time off for vacation, etc. Sound familiar?

Although I don’t keep a mental notebook for all of the things the kids request from the stores, I do keep an actual mental notebook, a.k.a. back-up brain, for the those pressing, but easily forgotten things that come back to haunt over and over again (which may or may not include kiddie requests).

My favorite tool is a slim journal by PaperBlanks (pictured above). It’s 3.5 x 7 inches and easily fits into a small purse or jacket pocket without taking up much space. And, with 176 pages, there’s a lot of space to jot one’s thoughts. I also use my mental notebook to jot down notes from conversations had on the run, details about potential purchases while shopping, the phone number of the mom I just met and want to reconnect with, and other miscellaneous thoughts I want to later recall.

Whatever your tools it’s important that you really like it. You’re more likely to use it if it’s something that appeals to your taste, style and needs. For me, light weight, easily portable, magnetic closure and thick pages are part of what makes the slim journal work for me. Sounds trivial, but these small details really can make a difference. If you’ve got a notebook that’s hard to find, flops open in your bag so pages get crumbled or torn, or is too bulky, you’ll find reasons not to use it.

I prefer a mental notebook over a note pad, list or even a PDA because I can flip back through the pages to find notes I took weeks ago. And, I get an extreme sense of satisfaction from filling up a whole book and from going back and checking off things from months ago that I finally. Even those less than pressing tasks and projects have a home where I know they won’t be lost. As a working and entrepreneurial mom constantly taking in new information and generating new ideas, my mental notebook is always with me. I actually do refer to it as my backup brain!

How to you keep tracking of those random thoughts that take up space in your head?

Me too! Personal, professional, general interest … the volume of email is overwhelming!

As a business owner and work-at-home mom, email is one of the essential ways I stay connected. It’s not only a communication tool, but I also use it to check the pulse of various communities I’m a part of or like to follow through discussion lists, like those for coaching, parenting, business ownership, and working moms.

That said, at the end some days, it really is too much. So, I was especially interested in the series NPR ran last week on “The E-Mail Age.” It explored email in a variety of contexts — in the workplace, at home, on the go, etc. and it highlighted the impact that excessive email has had on workplace culture, family relationships, business productivity and more. Best of all, the series offers some concrete tips on how to get out from under it. Take a listen …

Yesterday was the big day. The last day of kindergarten! Pee-ba was pretty excited from the start of the day — especially since I promised a special outing for just the two of us.

It started with a special hand-made card signed by mom, dad, JoJo (little sister) and Loosh (little brother) that was decorated with stickers galore. We slipped it into her lunch box for a special mid-morning surprise. Next we did a special hair-do with fancy trimmings. And then, just as on the first day of school, the whole family swept her off to meet the bus. I couldn’t resist taking a few pictures to mark the occasion.

Several hours later, she bound off the bus anticipating our outing, which she continually referred to as our ‘out,’ with the excitement of the five year old she is! Her first question was, “can we go to the pool?” But, since we weren’t quite ready for swimming season yet (didn’t have all of our gear), and it was a tad cool for me, we’d have to take a pass. After some initial disappointment, she recalled our planned ‘out’ and the excitement and anticipation returned.

We started with some shopping to find a new bathing suit for her and found success at our first store (along with a new smaller handbag for mom!). Next, it was off to Target for some noodles for the pool. I might as well have just invented chocolate, she was so happy. We topped our afternoon off with an ice cream, which she savored slowly as we sat at under the cool cover of an umbrella at a sidewalk table and enjoyed the scenery. We topped it off with her favorites for dinner and games with Dad and her siblings before trotting off to bed with her noodle.

The day was so fulfilling, especially the one-on-one time with Pee-ba — and it was clear that she appreciated it as well. As a working mom of three, creating that one-on-one time for each child can be a challenge, but the pay-off is so immediate and so rich. In the span of an afternoon, Pee-ba and I established a new set of rituals for celebrating the last day of school that’ll we’ll repeat next year and adapt as she grows. And, this will serve as inspiration for special school-time rituals with her younger siblings as they grow into the school system. These rituals enrich our time together and serve as inspiration for creating the space for even more one-on-one time with each of little one.

How do you make the most of one-on-one time with you child/ren? And what role do rituals play?

Tomorrow’s a pretty big day for me and my oldest child, Pee-ba (as her little brother calls her). It’s her last day of Kindergarten. It’s hard to fathom that an entire school year has passed. She has grown immensely. Truly. She’s learned so much in what seems like such a short time … She carries on conversations that I just can’t imagine I was capable of having at her age.

From her first days of school, I felt her tether stretch as she sailed out into her new world and returned with new thoughts, ideas, experiences, things; and then she would sail out again and return with even more. She formed real friendships with people that aren’t connected with me or her dad. I’ve come to know them partially from the time spent in the classroom, but much of what I know about them shows up in Priya — in the new dance moves I see her showing her little sister, the songs she sings in the car while we’re driving, in the things she asks for when we’re at a store and the little gifts she brings home.

All year long she’s said how much she loves Kindergarten and wants to stay there forever, if only. How innocent! How sweet! And now, she says she’s ready for it to be over. She doesn’t anticipate missing much about school, aside from friends. I’ve come to realize in recent days that it’s more about what she’s looking forward to (summer fun) than wanting school to end.

In some ways, the feeling is reminiscent of weaning. I’ve watched her grow so tall, so articulate, so curious and confident. She doesn’t cling as tightly as she used to. She has original thoughts and ideas and is persistent about expressing them. She’s really growing up. And, it’s bittersweet. I know all of the things that are beautiful, powerful and empowering about it; and I also know where this path leads. But, instead of borrowing from the future and focusing on what someday will no longer be, I’ll celebrate this milestone in a special way.

Stay tuned …

I hope that all of you dads out there were able to enjoy a special day with loved ones doing the things that matter to you most. The kids and I celebrated the Dad in our house with a day of fun in the sun, including a waterfront picnic and a round of pig-pile on freshly cut grass. The giggles were priceless!

This Father’s Day also felt a bit somber as we morned the loss of Tim Russert. Although I didn’t know him personally, he definitely has impacted my life.

To me, he personified passion, in work and in life. As a young person, I was disinterested in politics. Perhaps it was the endless hours of talk radio that I was subjected to in the car with my dad. As he would listen so intently on AM radio, I would marvel at how he could take in any of it, given all of the static. As I grew into adulthood, my dad would often joke about my seeming distain for politics. It just wasn’t quite my cup of tea. But, as I matured, I eventually tuned in, and Tim Russert was one major reason.

His passionate and intense approach to the issues inspired me to sit up a little straighter while viewing. I always felt a little smarter after viewing Meet The Press. Prior to having kids, it was regular viewing in our house. With kids came more complicated schedules that conflicted with the Sunday morning ritual, but I looked forward to catching up with the replay on the local cable news network. Whenever there was something brewing in the political realm, I always tuned in to NBC hear Tim’s perspective. I cannot imagine this election season without him.

Above and beyond his enormous societal contributions, Tim Russert had a significant impact on my own relationship with my Dad. Like so many others, my Dad was also a fan of Tim Russert and Meet the Press. I was able to connect with my Dad on the hot political issues of the day, thanks to Tim and Meet the Press. An investment of an hour of my time would reconnect me with the important issues and challenges facing our nation and the people involved. I always feel a little closer to my Dad when I share his knowledge and interest in political issues. It creates a special bond between us, especially since we moved to this political Mecca that is Washington, DC.

On this Father’s Day, I’m fortunate that I was able to call my Dad in Massachusetts first thing this morning to let him know that he is loved. I am sad that Tim’s family was unable to do the same.

Feeling a little stressed these days? The tight economy, unstable job and housing markets, escalating fuel prices and the ripple effects of each can leave one feeling anxious and uneasy.

On Tuesday, June 10th, I was featured in a segment on NBC4 Evening News entitled “Experts Offer Advice On Reducing Financial Stress.” It’s the second in a four-part series on managing stress during these tough economic times. In the piece, I offer tips and strategies for dealing with the stress and uncertainty that can come with an economic climate like the one we’re facing. In addition to the video, you can access a transcript online.

What are you doing to manage stress? Share your tips and tools here.